I Am Healthy: Where I Am Now and How I Got Here

This post has been nearly seven years coming. And it's still happening sooner than I thought it would.

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you've probably noticed that things have drastically changed for me. But in case you've missed that, here's the short version:

I'm healthy, you guys! 

 

My life has transformed since March 20th (we'll get to that date in a minute), and I am now healthier than I was before I got sick in fall 2010.

I have gone from only being able to go to Sunday morning church about once or twice every couple months to my new default being every Sunday. I am now able to regularly do those mundane things I've gathered apparently every housewife loathes but that I've been longing to do since I got married: the dishes, the cooking, the cleaning.

Last month Daniel and I went to the beach with his family for a couple days. If you've been following my posts for a while, you may remember this post, which recounted how I spent most of our last such trip two years ago in our room. Not mentioned in that post was that of the two short times I went to the ocean, Daniel carried me back across the sand to the main road. Because walking on sand is hard, but especially when you're sick. But this time? There was no such carrying. And I played catch with Daniel and two of  my sisters-in-law for a looong time and ran briefly on the shore just because I could.

From our anniversary <3

So how did I get to this point? How did I go from a chronically ill, completely incapacitated person (circa 2012) to an improved, still-suffering hermit (circa 2016) to a new, thriving me (circa now)?

Well, the short answer is God. But here's the human tools He brought into my life for this purpose.

 

Back at the beginning of the year, I learned about a program that is based on the principle of neuroplasticity: the brain's ability to change itself. That program was the Dynamic Neural Retraining System (DNRS) which you can learn all about on its website here. The founder of DNRS did not make up this principle of neuroplasticity; neuroplasticity is just fact, like gravity. This particular program is an incredibly helpful framework to help you harness this brain capability specifically toward health.

When I first heard about DNRS, I looked it up briefly and just kept it in the back of my mind. But it kept resurfacing. I finally talked to a couple people who had done the program or were considering it, I read about it, I watched testimonials, and I really started considering it.

Now, I was at a point in my health journey that I had been improving steadily for two years of holistic treatments--just very slowly. I had in no way even begun to give up on those treatments, because they were working, and my periodic blood work continued to prove those changes, again and again. We were interested in this program for two reasons: that awesome blood work still was not quite translating into how I was doing day to day, and this program seemed to encompass a realm of health I had never even touched before.

With my holistic doctor's blessing, Daniel and I finally decided to order DNRS, even though it honestly seemed too simple or too good to be true. All of these people in the testimonials went from states far worse off than even mine and absolutely transformed to healthy, thriving, best-versions-of-themselves-ever. But still, it just made sense.

This program has two versions: an in-person workshop (which I did not do because no dates were anywhere near me) and an at-home DVD workshop. I started the program on March 20, 2017, the first day of spring. And that date will always go down as the day my life changed.

I started the DVDs, designed to take about four days, which explain neuroplasticity, how our brains are constantly changing regardless of our age, and that we can change our brains ourselves to our benefit. This program is based on the understanding that many illnesses are the result of a limbic system impairment caused by a traumatic brain injury. Now, I know when we hear "traumatic brain injury," we generally think of a car accident or a concussion or something obvious like that. But we can sustain traumatic brain injuries from anything severe like an illness, a chemical exposure, or a highly emotional event. And when a serious event results in a brain injury, it can send your brain's neural pathways--how your brain and therefore your body functions--into chaos, otherwise known as trauma loops. And those trauma loops can manifest in any number of ways: pain, anxiety, depression, food allergies, chemical sensitivities, POTS, PTSD, chronic fatigue, detoxification issues, unresolved infections and viruses, on and on and on. Basically, a state of chronic illness, with your body stuck in fight or flight mode, something I suspected I was stuck in before I even learned about this program. So basically, in the case of a limbic system impairment, it's possible for your blood work to come out great but the improvements to not quite translate to your day-to-day life because your brain is stuck in emergency mode.

And when the above happens, your brain literally becomes stuck in the rut of sickness-induced and sickness-fueling pathways--through no fault of your own.

This program helps you literally rewire your brain pathways from those pathways of illness to pathways of health, freeing your body of the state it's stuck in to transform it to the best that your body can be. 

It took me about a week to get through those DVDs (it was a lot of info!). Then came the hard part.

The next part of the program is six months of practice: allotting a set amount of time every day to actively rewiring your brain, along with constantly putting into practice all the things taught through the DVDs. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Because our brains like to take the paths of least resistance, and the pathways associated with years of sickness die hard and die slow. The neural pathways your brain is used to using are like a well-worn path in a thick forest. It's been traveled thousands of times, and your thoughts follow it on default. Rewiring your brain is like choosing a new path in the woods, overgrown and covered with trees, and taking that route. It's not easy, not even on the fifth or tenth time you go through it. But taking that path over and over will in time wear it down to an easy, default path, this time a path to health and well-being.

Your brain is capable of that, and you are capable of making that happen.

 

With that said, I would describe the first few days of this program as an uncomfortable relief. It was a relief because I was falling out of those old pathways of suffering, but it was uncomfortable because that is simply the nature of change.

However, I noticed a change in me the first night. A very subtle something had shifted.

Just a couple weeks into the program, I had my first jewelry fair since starting DNRS. There were soo many smells, like the Scentsy booth and people smoking and people's perfumes, and it was soo loud. All those things normally would have driven me to a physiological fog. And yet, while I was not completely unaffected by the strong smells and sounds going on, I was okay. I found myself having a lengthy, enthusiastic conversation with a new acquaintance and saw myself from afar for a split second, realizing how ... normal ... I was. And I could have cried.

In May, two months into the program, Daniel and I celebrated our 5th anniversary for a week at the beach. And that trip was unbelievable. We went to so many new places, like shopping and restaurants, we played on the beach, walked--and ran--on the beach at night, and rode the SkyWheel, a gigantic, enclosed Ferris wheel that came with a warning sign to not ride it if you're claustrophobic or have a chronic illness. I showed it! ;) That week I was a totally different person than I was at our last anniversary beach trip four years before, and even than I was, as you saw at the beginning of this post, with my in-laws two years ago.

And the improvements keep coming.

I am now almost to five months since I started this six-month program. I understandably still have improvements to come, and the longer I go, the more I realize that what I'm learning about neuroplasticity is a life-long change and not a set of months to be checked off. Sure, the changes will become easier as time goes on, but being conscious of my words and thoughts and making sure they are encouraging healthy brain pathways and not fueling the old pathways resulting from sickness will be a constant practice.

One huge thing I am constantly reminded of in this experience with neuroplasticity is that God made our brains this way. 

 

And His admonitions on the subject of neuroplasticity were right there in the Bible, right under our noses, all along. There isn't room in this post to expound on them all, but Romans 12:2 is a great place to start. Neuroplasticity isn't some fruity notion somebody dreamed up to make people feel better. This is a remarkable gift God equipped our bodies with, that so many people don't even know is there.

From the beginning of Creation, He knew He made our brains this way. And from the time I got sick He knew that this was going to be the missing puzzle piece to my health and that my life would change through this knowledge and this practice in ways I never could have expected.

I know many of you reading this aren't even sure what all symptoms I lived with for years before this, so I would ask that you please take a look at this post to see what my life used to be like. I realize this post is already a mile long, and I still have not said everything I wish to say on this topic, so I will try to condense some of the changes I have experienced over just five months here:

- The Lyme Disease (Babesia and Bartonella) have not shown up in my regular Field Control Therapy testing in months. Which means either it is now gone or is not affecting me. I'm claiming it is gone. :) (Yes, I have continued the FCT while doing DNRS, as there are still some toxins to eliminate and organs to support, though those needs are continuing to lessen!)
- My reactions to harsh sensory input are greatly lessened. Previously loud music or appliances popping (our fridge has problems) or multiple sounds going at once (like a neighbor's music going at the same time as construction outside) would result in headache, nausea, or basically physical panic. Now it's like the sensitivity dial has been turned down much closer to normal level.
- Similarly, I can carry on a conversation with someone while there are other loud noises going on around me, such as other people talking. This used to be a great struggle.
- I am happier. I'm now often experiencing this phenomenon called "happy tears." I wasn't familiar with those before.
- I am now much more positive. I didn't think I was a negative person before, but ... let's all laugh at that now. ;)
- I have actually uttered the words "I feel so good" more than once. That sentence was not really in my vocabulary before.
- I can handle phone calls like a boss. ;) Previously, situations such as phone calls, the prospect of making phone calls, having serious conversations, or seeing confrontational comments on social media would send my body into fight or flight mode, complete with racing heart, adrenaline rush, and shaking. My brain had wired such situations to such reactions. Now I have to stop and realize how easily I have been making phone calls. (I'm trying to find a good dentist right now, so currently making phone calls is practically my job.)
- I can now relax much easier than before.
- I can now focus on one thing at a time more easily than before, as opposed to always having to multi-task.
- I am mentally and physically calmer.
- I am in much less pain.
- I am stronger. For example, I can now open bottles that normally I had to have Daniel open. (And, no, I'm not exercising my arms. ;)
- I actually have this thing called energy. And stamina. Definitely didn't have those before. I realized the other day that when I get ready to go somewhere, my battery isn't running on low by the time we leave the house. I'm fine. 
- I don't have to lie down after taking a shower.
- I'm walking better than before. (Hadn't realized my walk was lacking until now.)
- Even my chiropractor could tell a difference in my body--and was amazed by my improvements to the point of tearing up--the first time I went after starting the program.
- My thoughts are clearer and I lose my train of thought much less.
- I sleep deeper and fall back asleep easier if I am startled awake.
- My actual dreams have changed. Previously, I basically had like six dreams I just rotated. Once I started this program, it's like I got a whole new set of dreams and now I dream brand new dreams all the time. It is such a relief.
- I'm able to eat foods I wasn't before.
- Daniel says my "aura" is different. :)
- My hug is different. I saw family in July for the first time since starting the program and quickly realized I was actually hugging them tightly—easily and spontaneously. Normally my hugs are light, bordering on air hugs. Do you know how much healing had to take place for something as mundane and involuntary as a hug to be transformed?
- I am just doing so much now. I was already doing a lot for a sick person with "no job" before while running two small businesses, but I have cranked up the productivity dial on both shops, while also being able to be a housewife. Plus, Daniel and I are finally now getting to explore our area, now that we've lived here for three years. I actually could consider getting a "real job" in the future.

"Wait, so how is all this happening because of changing your brain?" When your brain is working properly, the rest of your body will follow. 

 

It's getting to the point that I don't even notice some of these changes now. I'm reading through my notes of improvements over the past few months to write that list above, and so many of them that were a huge deal are basically my normal now, to the point I almost forgot how big they were. And that is crazy. Thankfully, I already knew that when I got better I would forget, so I'm glad I made this list a few years ago. I may get used to the new normal, but I will never truly forget. And I wouldn't want to.

This is the story that God has chosen for me. And it's far more mind-blowing and beautiful than I ever imagined. I can now see how God orchestrated that I would learn about this amazing gift at just the right time in my life, and every bit of the glory goes to Him.

I want to share the hope for healing--and a better life for everyone--found in God's gift of neuroplasticity with everyone I can. 

 

And I'll be sharing the first development in my quest to do that in just a few days! In the meantime, you can see peeks of what that is on Instagram and on Facebook.

If this whole idea of neuroplasticity is brand new to you (as it was to me!) I would highly suggest watching this video (please excuse the dated music--neuroplasticity isn't brand new!) and exploring the DNRS website.

I know how I have suffered. I know so many others are still suffering. And it kills me to see that suffering and know that it could be greatly helped. If you are living with any unresolved chronic health issue, large or small, from anxiety to MCS (multiple chemical sensitivity) to chronic pain to PTSD to food allergies, I am truly begging you to open your mind to neuroplasticity and specifically consider DNRS. And I am more than happy to do my best to answer any questions you may have; email me!

There is hope for healing. And it is so much closer than we ever dreamed.